Searching for I

Descartes lived a bizarre life where he obsessed on the topic of his existence. He delved into issues which seemed apparently obvious to other intellectuals before and after him. How a man, probably insane and not aware of his own insanity, can get the audacity to question his very existence when even an imbecile with an IQ similar to a duck can see the stupidity of such endeavors is beyond my comprehension. But maybe he wasn’t alone after all as most people, aware or not, are in a similar path as the try to make sense of who they are or why they are. For as the great thinker once pointed in his celebrated ego sum (Latin) ” i think, therefore i am.”

So the man began to acknowledge his existence by accepting that the presence of a vibrant and above average mental faculty is proof enough that we exist. In this regard, it remains an indisputable fact that logical thinking is the keystone to determining one’s homo sapienship and thinking in general proofs one’s existence. But maybe indisputable is a strong word to use as one Russel John tried to prove, everything exist only as an idea into a higher being’s mind and everything else just a projection of our collective mind. If this argument holds truth, it means that a shift in thinking of the one who is responsible for our being would shift reality as we know it.This concerted effort by two of the most celebrated thinkers to query the way we view existence only shows that maybe, just maybe, there is something they saw that the rest of us misses. But one thing is for sure, religion, politics, association and even emotions are just a remnant of questions we long to satisfy but have long forgotten the origin or even the genesis of things we see as obvious components of living.

After all we pursue religion, based on faith, as we hope that it will eventually lead us to the source of all enlightenment. We do so as an acknowledgement that we are not totally whole and as thus cannot have the ability to answer all questions regrading our beings. So we make choices thinking we know where we want to head only to find misery in the realization that we were wrong and that the paths we trend are not suited for us and are contrary to our passions. if we can make such small mistakes, if we keep reevaluating our paths, if we keep looking for something higher than us, keep making certain declarations like a country must be bigger than an individual, then it must be because we do not know enough about who we are or why we are. So the question still lingers, to most of us, who are we? In coming times, we shall dissect this question and hopefully arrive at some meaningful answers, but that’s only possible if you participate in this discourse with me.



In the footsteps of a hustler: formation

A hustler is not always born from a humble background, but that exception, is rare and contradictory to nature. In most cases, the hustler, was once a young one raised in a family without means and taught to survive the harsh reality of an unequal life. The maxim of religion is that All people are equal but the irony of life is that maxims are just a perception of a few while the majority know better. For as scientists point out, human beings are after all animals and that makes this world an animal farm. Needless to point out, in the animal farm, all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. So most people are born without means, condemned to a life of hardship, suffering and misery while a select few hog all resources and live in senseless splendor and gluttonous excesses. The common man and by extension his offspring is left to scavenge the little he can from the crumbs that spill over the laden table of the rich man. This scavenging, though refined a it by education and street cunning, is what many like to christen as hustling.

So one has to contend with public local schools where resources are scarce, teachers are unmotivated, discipline is scarce, vices are rampant and performance is mediocre at best. This at at time when secondary schools of note were few and us unlucky bastards had to compete with rich man’s kids being spoon fed education at posh academies in lush neighborhoods. So one has to ask, this question being posed to no one in particular; what’s a imp bundled into a public school supposed to make it big in the professional world when he is denied all chance at academic success and the little chance is stealthily awarded to the fat kids at those overpriced academies. So in my humble logic, the failure is not in the part of the little hustler but is an orchestration of government, a conspiracy to keep the common man perpetually poor and a little threat to the ruling elite.

Most of these looked down upon teenagers ends up in shady district schools, questionable provincial schools, community schools while a good many drop out and either get assimilated into casual laboring or get married and perpetuate the cycle of poverty and desperation. A few make it to good schools and have to bear with the excesses of the rich, the entitlements of the children, the disparity of their financial situations, the indignity of being sent home while their counterparts study, the hunger as their fellow more equal than them pigs munch on their many delicacies and wash it down with their many concoctions. Such is the formative process of a hustler, the journey to the adults they become, the reason for their agility and resilience, the pivotal stage that shapes them into who they are. An unequal society cannot be expected to mold equal individuals and our personalities reflect mostly the kind of experience that we have had to bear as we trudged on the road of life, jumped over the obstacles of fate, swam across the moats of destiny, fought the contempt of our more able peers and bore the wrath of those who sought to direct our paths.

In the footsteps of a hustler: genesis

Hustling is unglorified, its tough, burdensome, unpredictable and most times simply disappointing. Its a life that receives no celebration nor acknowledgment, a rat race if you may, the kind that always leaves a rat regardless of victory. Its a life for those who are born with the misfortune of restlessness, poverty, wildness, folly, eagerness among other traits. It is not for the weak hearted however for that breed of people follows but one path, employment. I do not blame them, those that seek security, even though meager that security may be. They shy away from the unpredictability of hustling and the chance that fate usually thrusts a hustler into the breezy cold now and then without even the dignity of a warm sweater.

But some must walk this path into the uncertainty of a an unpredictable tomorrow and hope the gods smile unto them and offer them a better future that the past which they have gotten accustomed to; a past full of senseless strife and unrewarding toil. A past full of disappointment hopes and broken promises. A road laced with failure, hunger, tears and surrounded by dams of acid which eats away at their insides like floods eroding ground. A yesterday whose sad memories linger like phantoms in a ghost movie haunting the tomorrow which they build with blood, sweat and unyielding hope that they can make it despite all odds. While some make it into the achievers club, many are shut out by the bouncers of fate and are left to spectate from the gloomy outside and wade off into their circumstance which is perpetually tiresome, strenuous and fruitless. yes, they must go on with their hustling and pray to their gods, that sooner than later, they see that proverbial light at the end of a tunnel.

But what drives this breed of people, these modern gladiators who fight fate on a daily basis and have the audacity to believe that they can master destiny. Is it for glamor, to own assets and cars, to wield power in due time? Do they do it for wine and women, to enjoy life, to make true of the eternal saying “one day at a time.” Or are their motivations more idealistic, a need to control their affairs and have no other masters but themselves.To understand this people, one must probably be hypocritical for to assert ones ability to do so is probably one of the biggest lie one can impose on himself. For these people are complex and diverse and their reasons as many as there are birds flying across the free skies. All we can do is make a toast to the hustlers and offer to them a silent prayer and hope the most high will make their paths more smoother and their futures more clearer.