After promulgation

The new constitutional dispensation is poised to refresh a country over burdened by despair and disillusion. So in light of this new bout of hope, i set out to spend a relaxed and enjoyable weekend in anticipation of a hard and burdensome week head. friday afte saw me link up with ivy and together we headed to that swine city, banu, for sme tasty pork. To my advantage my pal was a bit unwell so I ended up gobbling up all the kahalf and ugali until my tummy was ready to burst. My people viva la swine, translation long live pork. We linked up with my cuzo jamo and headed to Westgate to catch a movie at silverbird in the afternoon. My intention was to pass the time enjoying magic in the sorcerer’s apprentice but my cuzo had other ideas and we ended up watching step up 3 in 3d. Now that movie may not be the best in script but the 3D experience is truly amazing. my people do check it out or simply wait for the last air bender to premier and watch it in 3D. satu was my cuzos wedding and the only eventful moment in the wedu is the fct that after lining up for the food, the plates were over by the time it was our time to be served. No worry we just ditched the wedu n headed to our pork den where we devored some more of that delicious meat. later I linked up with my homies Po n jamo, a pal of jamo kinyua, our buddy Grace and headed to town for a nyt of pure madness. Apart from me, everyone got drunk and Grace couldnt stop dancing and I was wondering kwani she was taking disel rather than gk hehe. Now thats a funny story, coz most times i go drinking with Grace the waiter usually assumes the white wine is for Grace and the GK for me. Shock on the guy when we tell him to switch the drinks. So I was just chilling watching my pals have fun and this chic, very hot, on the next table must have either decided I looked bored or too hot dont know which. The lady decided to wake up, shake it then proceed to give me a lap dance in very sensual ways. The result ofcourse is that the bf was up in arms and the dude was so huge, i thought I was a gonner but he realized i’m a gunner and he he chickened out. yap long live the hooligans. For some reason that happens a lot and I’m sure some dude is gonna decide to just shoot me. The annoying thing is that later as we headed home the damn cabs refused to take us home with the cult answer that it was very unsafe. Damn fools, if it is unsafe with a car what but us without NKT. Sunday was uneventful except that we had to chase thieves through the forest as they attempted to take away  our transformer. Dangerous place where i live, if you dont get arrested by greedy cops, you might die under the mungikis knife or the muger’s chuma.

I mis mombasa

There are many that would agree with me that this cold is not the best way to spend the few days that we have to spend in this paradoxical world. The nyts are chilly leading this son of a woman to resort to such underhanded techniques as sleeping under 3 blankets while still wearing a sweater. i had four of those large blankets but my sister after being almost chilled to death carried out a commando style robbery and stole one of them. Some might ask why not take it from her. Well, have you ever tried taking a piece of meat from a starving  lioness, you get the picture. This leaves a poor bloke longing for the warmth that only the hot body of a beautiful woman can provide but alas, a poor bloke must sleep alone. This in turn leaves me looking back to the beautiful times i spent in the warm warm coast. Ohhh how i mis that place. The warm waters of the Indian ocean in the after noon to sooth my tired muscles. The fresh large fish cooked with coconut oil and other tasty spices by Binti. The many nyts hanging with pals at our local belavista. beautiful times yes but what i mis most is the heat. The fact that i need not trouble myself with sweaters was the one thing that never failed to bring a smile to my lips. And as i sing of, I cant stop wondering when life will allow me to go back to my tropical heaven.

promulgation weekend

Tomorow presents the most historic day in the present day Kenya. It is the coming to force of the new constitution and hopefully the beginning of a better tomorrow for the people of Kenya. In the wake of these greatness, I have to pay a tribute to my faithful funs whose interest in my blog keeps my literary fires burning. i hope that I do not cross a forbidden line, but I feel strongly that at this juncture, this tribute is a must. First, is to the two literal geniuses who’s blogs have inspired me to continue along this treacherous path> Cess and jade. cess with your ever imaginative and crazy blogs that leave me shaking with uncontrollable fits of laughter. Many a days when I,m bored in a jav or pub have I turned to your blog posts and felt my melancholy slide away like the receding of fog when the sun reemerges. Jade with ur illusions, mumbling, fiction and simply fabulous works of literal art. You have taught me that I need not conform but I,m free to dare to let my imagination run wild. Do not falter in the path you follow, you do not walk alone. Ivy, the silent observer for always letting me know that no day goes by without you perusing my posts. It is that kind of silent devotion that makes me hope that while some might not be vocal, they are however there. Your presence in my blog and in my life is welcome and refreshing. Yvonne for not only being a fan but also being part of the literature especially for her role in that beautiful play you acted on during easter. You are a free spirit and your company enough to create fodder for thought and hence the creation of beautiful posts. Moreover some of your suggestion to my life have been taken seriously and there is no doubt in my mind that many posts will be inspired by the outcome of those acts. Moreover, i thank you for showing me that there is no reason for fear, ur truly a remarkable friend. Lastly to the many silent fans, I salute you my people and I,m sure that Kenya salutes you too.

Dreams

Abraham Lincoln once said that imagination is better than knowledge. In his opinion, knowledge is limited yet imagination encircles the whole world. So you must be wondering where i’m going with this imagination issue. Well, our lives are moltivated by our ambitions to achieve some desires and inevitably live better lives. Why is that, several reasons actually. Philosphers have concurred that the sole reason for being is to pursue happiness. This was reinforced by the American forefathers who stipulated in the constitution that man is fre to pursue happiness. But most importantly, every individual has long term goals that he/she wishes to succeed at the end of the day. This in my humble opinion is what many talk of as being “my dream” This is made true by the old andage “i have fought a gud fight, i have kept the faith, i have finished the race.” This faith is the vision of what one want to be or achieve and it is important that no obstacle stand in your way and achieving this vision. It is prudent to understand that money in iteslf is material, and self actualization should involve seeking something much higher that material benefits alone. There are those that want to have decent families and raise good kids that will make them proud one day. While I believe that a good faimly can indeed cause fulfilment, it is not, atleast in my opnion, a prerequisite for happiness. Moreover, becoming some one soceity can look up to is a good dream but that does not mean that mean who do not hold major positions are less important in soceity. the main thing is everyone to do their best to live good lives, be better people and always remember their brothers and sisters. In the long run,  what will mater is whether you loved God first then your neigbour as much as you love yourself.

is it proper for women to approach men

I know that like everything else in life the answer to this question is very subjective and depends on the person being faced with this subject. I have always thought that the approach with intent to forge romantic liaisons should be the preserve of the male. I have therefore felt over time that women should not be in the business of pursuing men but rather let men go out of their way to woo women. However, this is not always so as women sometimes ignore the dictate of nature and relentlessly pursue their male counterparts. Sometimes, the scenario is not always that severe but limited only to some women approaching you for the first time. I remember in high school when some ladies would approach you with a letter and asking whether you can deliver it to a certain individual. Most ladies just had that in mind but many would continue to strike conversation and even make a subtle insistence that you should show them around. The most ridiculous part of it would be those ladies who would ask you to while they can see clearly your are just a visitor to that school like her. For some reason those acts tended to put me off regardless of how pretty the lady was and I always preferred to be the one doing the “hunting rather than be the hunted” In recent past this trend has continued with some ladies being brave enough to approach you and tell you they like you. I do not mind that much when a lady does it casually, I do however take an issue with those that try to pursue this particular liaison further than ground zero. It is not so bad in a bar when you are all alone and some hot mama says hi and goes on to give you very interesting company. I however have to make it clear at this juncture that I do not believe in either chips funga or sausage kamata. So after the beautiful company then i have to ask leave of my company and I head home to my cold bed to stagger into dreamland alone. So what inspired me to condemn these heinous acts by our ladies? On wednesday after a very tiresome session at the ku gym, sweaty and tired i headed back to my friends house for a shower and dinner,. As i enter the estate gate this lady passes me, stops and say hi and tells me that she always sees me around. The lady informs me that she lives in the same lane so we continue walking and chatting until we got to where i was going. Now this gal has a figure like wow and under the moonlight, lady looks like halle Berry, no exaggeration. She gives me a hug and a peck on my cheek and I’m wondering why such a beautiful lady would go to all that effort for a broke ass like me. The following day the lady comes over to say hi just when I’m bout to leave for the gym, with a short provocative dress and , mama mia, the lady is too beautiful with lips that can tempt the devil. Needless to say I dont even let her past my door, and I can sear that hug was too tight as if it was meant to……My people it is time to run like hell so I ask her to push me to the gym, promise to call he later, leave the gym, pack my belonging and I’v sworn not to go back there. Moral of the story, ladies intruding into our lives uninvited complicate our lives when we trying to be decent fellows. Now if i had a galfried, n assume i was a weak character swayed easily by beauty, its not nuclear science what could have happened. And whose fault would it be, the lady. And who would be blamed as usual, the man. It is truly an unfair world.

the letter

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I’ve Reached

Date: 28 July, 2006

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I’ve just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Your loving Hubby……..



Kikuyu men, perfect lovers

For a long time, Mary had a fantasy of being with a Kikuyu man.
One night, when she was in a bar, she met a handsome Kikuyu man called
Kimani who appeared to be great, so she figured, what the hell, she’d go for
it.

So Mary asked the fellow to come home with her. When the two
got to Mary’s apartment, Mary told him about her fantasy, and asked if
he would be a part of it.

Well, kimani agreed, so the two headed for Mary’s bedroom.
Mary said, “OK, first, I want you to undress me and tie me to the bed!”
So Kimani did so. By this time, Mary was worked into a passionate frenzy.

She looked up at the guy and said, “Now, big boy, do what you do best!”

Kimani couldnt believe his ears….

So Kimani picked up her TV, PC, DVD, Phone, Jewellery, VCR and left in her car. indo ni kuoya kuoya…